Today is a unique day for me, I say it that way for a variety of reasons. How does one celebrate a day that revolves around being diagnosed with a life altering disease like Stage IV BC? Not just life altering for me...but for everyone that I love the most! But, shouldn't I somewhat celebrate...after all, I am still here at 5 years! My cancer has been contained to my bones, no organ progression thus far, and I still have a fairly normal life. But I've decided that on this...my 5 year Cancerversary I'd like to remember the many friends that I've lost during that time.
As many of you know, I belong to an online support group. The group is solely for Stage IV patients, their spouses, partners, etc and it's international. I joined this group one year after my rediagnosis...after I was told about it by another cancer patient (who has since passed 😢). Remarkably, I have made some amazing friends this way...similar to pen pals in past years. Horrifyingly I must tell you that I've lost........31 FRIENDS FROM THIS GROUP TO CANCER IN 4 YEARS! ADDITIONALLY, I'VE LOST TWO FRIENDS TO CANCER THAT I MET LOCALLY.
That comes to a total of 34 women,...daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, friends that have been prematurely taken due to breast cancer! Over the four years that I've been on this support group that means I've lost an average of 8.5 beautiful friends per year to breast cancer! Devastating numbers!
This my friends is why I find it difficult to celebrate my own 5 years. Perhaps it's survivors guilt, perhaps it's the fear that the years are going by too quickly or being used up. Or maybe, just maybe, I don't want to jinx anything you know? Whatever the reason I want each of you to know two thinggs:
1. I am tremendously grateful! Grateful for my faith , my family, the constant support of my loving husband Don, and my friends
2. I'm a better person because of the 34 women who are no longer with us. They were warriors, they NEVER gave up and did not lose their battle. It was simply their time to go home, their bodies could take no more. That is my belief...that is how I must believe!
The next time you hear from me I will have returned from NYC and seeing my magnificent son Mike and his fiancé Jenny! I couldn't be more excited. Thank you all for your continued support...as always I ask that you keep Don and MICHAel in your prayers.
Love, Kathy
