This shouldn’t be a lengthy post...it’s late, I’m very tired, and tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I have a meal to prepare...but I have just a few thoughts to express!
Thanksgiving has always been my very favorite holiday. I’ve always loved the idea of gathering with family and friends, having traditional foods and recipes that have been passed down over the years, laughter, football, company, everything! I also adore that there’s not the stress of gift giving like there is at Christmas. I’m certainly not against gifts, you can ask anyone, but it’s nice to have a big holiday that focuses solely on being thankful.
Therefore I wanted to take a moment to share a few of the many, many things I’m thankful for. We live in a time of great horror, shootings, bombings, disease, murders, sex scandals, child pornographers ...the list is endless. But each day I chose to be thankful, so today I would like to share that with you!
I’m so thankful for my family!
* My husband Don is my rock, my love, my very best friend and the person I turn to for all things. I know he loves me unconditionally and I him! I’m also thankful for the love that he has for my son Michael. He is so proud of him and shares my joys and concerns for him every day. Thank you honey
* My son Michael is my greatest gift and I love him more than words can ever express. But of course any Mom reading this completely understands. He is such a huge part of me...literally and figuratively and I am thankful every single day that he’s my son! I am more proud of him than I ever thought possible and I am in awe of the caring and compassionate yet hard-working and professional man he’s become. I’m deeply thankful and I love you son!
* My two beautiful sisters Kim and Barb are more than sisters to me. I am thankful at all times for their love, support and most of all their friendship! I cannot imagine my life without the two of them and I am ALWAYS thankful!
* My Mom and Daddy. What do you say about the two people who have had the greatest influence on your life, always loved and stood by you, guided you and hung in there with you no matter what. My amazing parents are now in their mid 80’s. I am so thankful for every moment that I have with them, every phone call, every memory! The are spectacular parents, grandparents, in laws and friends and I love them with all my heart!
* My future daughter in law...Jenny. I can hardly wait until you are no longer my “future” and you are Mike’s wife! I’ve loved you since I first met you, and I will always be thankful that you are part of our family! Thank you for loving my son Jenny...and thank you for being you!
* I have a number of brother in laws, and I’m thankful for them all! But I have one who has been in our family for so long I no longer consider him an in law. He’s always there for me (and Don) and he’s my brother and my friend! Tom, you will never know how thankful I am for you!
* to my nieces and nephews, I love each of you with all my heart! I’m extremely proud and so thankful for each of you! You add so much joy to my life.
To my extended family...
Aunts, Uncles, cousins, Mother in law, Father in law, sister in laws, to my dear and wonderful friends old and new...I am not only thankful, but deeply grateful! I love each of you and thank you for making my life much fuller and more meaningful. Without all of you life would be empty indeed!
So much to be thankful for...and I’ve only scratched the surface. As I close I leave you with the wish that each of you finds much to be thankful for too. Have a lovely holiday...I’ll be back soon.
Love and blessings,
Kathy 💕🦃💕
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
Another Season For the Memory Books
Hello All,
Such a busy and beautiful summer it was! As always it was difficult to see it end. This summer was somewhat bittersweet for my family since it was the first without our beloved lake home and the first time my parents stayed in Florida all year. I'll talk more about that in a moment, but suffice it to say it was different.
On the health scene things are chugging along...I refuse to complain! I feel so fortunate to be doing as well as I am at the 5 year mark! For so many that's NOT the case. I never ever take this for granted and I thank the Lord above everyday! Currently I have three "hot" spots (lesions/tumors if you will) that we've been dealing with for about 6 months. They have not grown, can't be radiated, so we are watching them closely. They cause me some pain, but that's what pain meds are for. 😊
I've developed some neuropathy in my right foot (pain & numbness) which makes me a bit more clumsy than normal. I continue to see my oncologist monthly, get scans on a minimum of every 3 months, take oral chemo daily...3 weeks on, 1 week off...and receive monthly bone strengthening infusions and anti hormonal injections. (Thank you Jeanie for accompanying me each month to these four hour appointments!). As always the hardest side effect is FATIGUE! I need to explain again, fatigue isn't being tired!!! My analogy is this: when you have extreme fatigue you aren't ever fully awake. You can get 8-9 solid hours of sleep and wake up exhausted. It feels as though someone has unplugged your batteries and you can't recharge. Not at all like being extremely tired!
Ok, enough about that! 😊 Our family (Don, Kathy, Mike, Jenny, Kim, Megan, Barb, Tom, Aimee and Jack ...we were missing Matthew who had final exams 😢) spent a lovely and memorable week at Horseshoe Bay Resort on Leech Lake. The weather was glorious and we were able to see many old and dear friends. We all missed Mom/Dad, Grandma/Grandpa dearly...but knew it was time to start new memories. For Don and me having 5 days with Mike and Jenny was Heaven! I honestly can't recall the last time we had them for that amount of time...such joy! I loved having both of my sisters and their families with us, quite frankly family means everything to me❣️❣️❣️
Last week I spent 7 days in Florida. One day with Kim in Orlando , the remainder with Mother and Daddy. Once again a bittersweet trip. Many highs: always a joy to see my parents! I love them so much! I was able to be there for Daddy's 84th bday, so special. I hadn't helped celebrate his bday in many years. I loved spending time and getting to better know my new friends John and Carol as well as spending time with our beloved friends Mike and Barb! Those four people are truly some of the finest peeps I've EVER had the pleasure of calling my friends!!!
Then of course there were some lows: Daddy is in horrific pain due to bulging discs and arthritis. It absolutely breaks my heart to see him struggle. Surgery is out of the question due to his heart issues, he doesn't want strong pain meds...like mine...as Mom needs him! So his Dr. is starting a new series of injections this Thursday, please pray for my Daddy that they help to alleviate his pain. I know there's a lot on our prayer plates right now, but I'd so appreciate it. Then there's my sweet little Mama. For those that know her you'd be shocked by how tiny she is. She's shrunk in height...I'm guessing she's 5'6" and if she weighs 105 lbs I'd be shocked. I had seen her in May, but she is much more fragile now The saddest and most difficult part is her memory and confusion. My sisters and I believe she has dementia, Daddy WILL NOT DISCUSS IT! If you speak to either of them I beg you not to say anything out of respect for them both! Mom's also having problems with dizziness. Although she eats small amounts she eats very well, plus she's finally drinking water! Yay Mom! I need to keep reminding myself that she's 85 and Daddy's 84. The wonderful thing is they have each other, they love life, they're very positive, they've got many loving friends and so much more. I am hoping that my heath stays as is, because for the first time Mom asked me to come back more often. I'm going to try for every 3 months
For the past 30+ years Mom and I have told each other that we are best friends. I will forever feel that way, I've been so blessed to have her as my Mother and my best friend ❣️❣️
I love each of you! For your prayers, your love, your support and your friendship. Take care of each other please!
With love,
Kathy 💕💕💕
Such a busy and beautiful summer it was! As always it was difficult to see it end. This summer was somewhat bittersweet for my family since it was the first without our beloved lake home and the first time my parents stayed in Florida all year. I'll talk more about that in a moment, but suffice it to say it was different.
On the health scene things are chugging along...I refuse to complain! I feel so fortunate to be doing as well as I am at the 5 year mark! For so many that's NOT the case. I never ever take this for granted and I thank the Lord above everyday! Currently I have three "hot" spots (lesions/tumors if you will) that we've been dealing with for about 6 months. They have not grown, can't be radiated, so we are watching them closely. They cause me some pain, but that's what pain meds are for. 😊
I've developed some neuropathy in my right foot (pain & numbness) which makes me a bit more clumsy than normal. I continue to see my oncologist monthly, get scans on a minimum of every 3 months, take oral chemo daily...3 weeks on, 1 week off...and receive monthly bone strengthening infusions and anti hormonal injections. (Thank you Jeanie for accompanying me each month to these four hour appointments!). As always the hardest side effect is FATIGUE! I need to explain again, fatigue isn't being tired!!! My analogy is this: when you have extreme fatigue you aren't ever fully awake. You can get 8-9 solid hours of sleep and wake up exhausted. It feels as though someone has unplugged your batteries and you can't recharge. Not at all like being extremely tired!
Ok, enough about that! 😊 Our family (Don, Kathy, Mike, Jenny, Kim, Megan, Barb, Tom, Aimee and Jack ...we were missing Matthew who had final exams 😢) spent a lovely and memorable week at Horseshoe Bay Resort on Leech Lake. The weather was glorious and we were able to see many old and dear friends. We all missed Mom/Dad, Grandma/Grandpa dearly...but knew it was time to start new memories. For Don and me having 5 days with Mike and Jenny was Heaven! I honestly can't recall the last time we had them for that amount of time...such joy! I loved having both of my sisters and their families with us, quite frankly family means everything to me❣️❣️❣️
Last week I spent 7 days in Florida. One day with Kim in Orlando , the remainder with Mother and Daddy. Once again a bittersweet trip. Many highs: always a joy to see my parents! I love them so much! I was able to be there for Daddy's 84th bday, so special. I hadn't helped celebrate his bday in many years. I loved spending time and getting to better know my new friends John and Carol as well as spending time with our beloved friends Mike and Barb! Those four people are truly some of the finest peeps I've EVER had the pleasure of calling my friends!!!
Then of course there were some lows: Daddy is in horrific pain due to bulging discs and arthritis. It absolutely breaks my heart to see him struggle. Surgery is out of the question due to his heart issues, he doesn't want strong pain meds...like mine...as Mom needs him! So his Dr. is starting a new series of injections this Thursday, please pray for my Daddy that they help to alleviate his pain. I know there's a lot on our prayer plates right now, but I'd so appreciate it. Then there's my sweet little Mama. For those that know her you'd be shocked by how tiny she is. She's shrunk in height...I'm guessing she's 5'6" and if she weighs 105 lbs I'd be shocked. I had seen her in May, but she is much more fragile now The saddest and most difficult part is her memory and confusion. My sisters and I believe she has dementia, Daddy WILL NOT DISCUSS IT! If you speak to either of them I beg you not to say anything out of respect for them both! Mom's also having problems with dizziness. Although she eats small amounts she eats very well, plus she's finally drinking water! Yay Mom! I need to keep reminding myself that she's 85 and Daddy's 84. The wonderful thing is they have each other, they love life, they're very positive, they've got many loving friends and so much more. I am hoping that my heath stays as is, because for the first time Mom asked me to come back more often. I'm going to try for every 3 months
For the past 30+ years Mom and I have told each other that we are best friends. I will forever feel that way, I've been so blessed to have her as my Mother and my best friend ❣️❣️
I love each of you! For your prayers, your love, your support and your friendship. Take care of each other please!
With love,
Kathy 💕💕💕
Friday, May 19, 2017
Vacations, Family, Memories of the Best Kind!
What a wonderful month of memory making it has been! I want to begin with the largest THANK YOU to my incredible husband Don. While I was off traveling he was at home holding down the fort as the saying goes. As a lot of us know, when your partner in life is away...and you're the one left at home it tends to get long and lonely. But Don NEVER complains, never ever makes me feel guilty, he just truly wants me to be happy and enjoy the experience. I'm very blessed, which is why I wanted to start today's blog with a shout out to my Don! Love you babe❣️ Now....for the rest of my recap...😍.
My first trip was with my future daughter-in-law (Jenny) to The Villages in Florida. We spent...YES THE Kleinfeld with Randy, Camille and everyone else a terrific week with my gracious parents and one spectacular day at Cocoa Beach with my sister Kim. The weather was picture perfect and our days were mostly spent poolside just enjoying each other's company and relaxing. From the moment we met Jenny (Don & me) we've loved her, but to be able to spend the whole week with her was a real blessing. I feel like we're closer than ever before! The biggest bonus was seeing Jenny with my parents. They too love her dearly and clearly the feeling is mutual. My son has chosen a very special lady to marry and we are very happy for them both.
The week was exhausting but so fulfilling and I was very grateful that I was able to simply pick up & go. In addition to Mother and Daddy I was able to see several really close friends and make several new ones. We were also there while Daddy had is "heart shock" procedure done which gave me a huge sense of comfort. Speaking of which, Daddy's doing VERY well, his energy level is higher and his breathing is no longer labored. Such a relief.
I was home for 4 days, saw my oncologist, had my infusion and Fasladex shots and FINALLY...FINALLY my BFF Jeanie & I flew out to NYC and Michael. To say that I was excited was such an understatement you have no idea. Many of you have seen pictures from the trip...it was glorious. I'll give you a brief recap:
Thursday...arrived. Mike met us at our hotel and we took Jeanie (by subway, which btw was my first subway ride!). We visited the 911 Memorial, then walked over to Battery Park (this is where you can see Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty.). Since Jeanie and I had been up since 400am, we headed back to the hotel. Jeanie chose to stay in but Mike and I met up with Jenny and her parents
(Shelly and Dave) who came out too so we could all do a bit of wedding planning. 😀
We saw and secured the reception venue...omg it's so gorgeous! Then Dave (thank you again!) treated us to a great dinner. A wonderful day
Friday....since it was raining, and I've always wanted to see it, we went to The Metropolitan Museum of Art. It did nit disappoint in any way! I kept wishing that we could spend days there rather than a few hours. It was fascinating to experience it with Mike, we both enjoyed so many of the same things. After not living together for going on 11 years he's become not only grown up, and extremely knowledgeable, but really worldly. I learn so much from him when we're together, it fascinates me how the tables have turned!
Friday night was super special! Months earlier I had ordered theatre tickets to WICKED which was playing at The Gershwin Theatre. It had always been my dream to take Mike to a Broadway 🎭 show, and I finally accomplished it. We went to a really fun Irish pub for dinner first, picked up our tickets, walked around Times Square, and then went back and enjoyed the show. Each of us...Jeanie, Mike, Jenny (her ticket was her 29 bday gift from Don and me) loved every moment of hit! It was and will forever be a treasured memory that I will carry in my heart!
Saturday...this was also another exciting day! Fortunately I was able to sleep in, by this time I was overly exhausted, but happier than I can begin to tell you!!! At 130pm Jeanie & I met the others (except Mike) at Kleinfeld Bridal ...YES the one and only Kleinfelds with Randy Fenoli and everyone. It was just like the show "Say Yes to the Dress" and I was thrilled for Jenny knowing how much this meant to her. The experience did not disappoint, they treated us so well and Jenny was treated like a princess. It was perfect and she did in fact say YES to the dress❣️ Thank you sweetheart for including me in such a special memory! I love you Jenny!
After Kleinfelds was my time with Mike...and it was fabulous. We walked to a small pub for appetizer s and drinks and then walked to a charming park to just talk for several hours. It was the highlight of my trip! Mike and I always try to sneak a few minutes of alone time together on each trip, visit, vacation etc. Sometimes we're successful and sometimes we aren't. This time was perfection. I'm so grateful for that time and that at 29 Mike wants to make sure we can do that. With us living so far from each other those times are just priceless.
Jeanie and I stayed in that evening and called it an early night...Mike and Jenny had a lovely last evening with Dave and Shelly as they were flying out the next afternoon.
Sunday...we all gathered at a charming French bistro for brunch (again THANK YOU very much Dave, your generosity knows no bounds!). Afterward we sadly said our goodbyes to Shelly & Dave. Jenny went back to their apartment as she was starting her new job the next day and wanted to prepare, so Mike (the greatest tour guide) took Jeanie & i to the south end of Central Park, a part ID yet to see. It was beautiful and a lovely day to explore. We came out near the Guggenheim (think Spanish Harlem) and caught the start of the Cinco de Mayo parade. Always something going on in the city!
It was getting late in the day and I was in need of rest, so it was decided that we'd head back to the hotel for R & R and Mike would come over later for the dreaded goodbyes. 😢 Saying goodbye to him each time is the hardest thing in the world for me. As everyone who knows me is aware, Mike is my pride and joy, he and Don are what keep me going, and I would do anything in the world for him ❣️ I love you ❤️ with my WHOLE heart honey!
And now I'm home. I missed Don like crazy...Jeanie was a wonderful travel companion, but two trips back to back without my husband was a bit to much. Our family is looking forward to August when we will once again be together at our beloved Leech Lake. We've rented a cabin , the Hein's have reservations and the Longs are flying in from Florida so along with all of our children so it will be a perfect memory making week!
Next week it's back to my monthly oncology visit, so as you can tell life is pretty much back to normal. Lol!
Huge thank yous to the following people that made my travel memories possible:
Don, Mike, Jenny, Mother, Daddy, Kimmy, Jeanie, Dave, Shelly and Dr. Jurgens. Each of you played a role whether large or small and I'm soooo appreciative.
God Bless each of you, continued prayers for Don, Mike and I'd like to add my amazing future daughter-in-law...Jenny. We already feel as though you're part of the family honey! Love to all. 💕💕💕
My first trip was with my future daughter-in-law (Jenny) to The Villages in Florida. We spent...YES THE Kleinfeld with Randy, Camille and everyone else a terrific week with my gracious parents and one spectacular day at Cocoa Beach with my sister Kim. The weather was picture perfect and our days were mostly spent poolside just enjoying each other's company and relaxing. From the moment we met Jenny (Don & me) we've loved her, but to be able to spend the whole week with her was a real blessing. I feel like we're closer than ever before! The biggest bonus was seeing Jenny with my parents. They too love her dearly and clearly the feeling is mutual. My son has chosen a very special lady to marry and we are very happy for them both.
The week was exhausting but so fulfilling and I was very grateful that I was able to simply pick up & go. In addition to Mother and Daddy I was able to see several really close friends and make several new ones. We were also there while Daddy had is "heart shock" procedure done which gave me a huge sense of comfort. Speaking of which, Daddy's doing VERY well, his energy level is higher and his breathing is no longer labored. Such a relief.
I was home for 4 days, saw my oncologist, had my infusion and Fasladex shots and FINALLY...FINALLY my BFF Jeanie & I flew out to NYC and Michael. To say that I was excited was such an understatement you have no idea. Many of you have seen pictures from the trip...it was glorious. I'll give you a brief recap:
Thursday...arrived. Mike met us at our hotel and we took Jeanie (by subway, which btw was my first subway ride!). We visited the 911 Memorial, then walked over to Battery Park (this is where you can see Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty.). Since Jeanie and I had been up since 400am, we headed back to the hotel. Jeanie chose to stay in but Mike and I met up with Jenny and her parents
(Shelly and Dave) who came out too so we could all do a bit of wedding planning. 😀
We saw and secured the reception venue...omg it's so gorgeous! Then Dave (thank you again!) treated us to a great dinner. A wonderful day
Friday....since it was raining, and I've always wanted to see it, we went to The Metropolitan Museum of Art. It did nit disappoint in any way! I kept wishing that we could spend days there rather than a few hours. It was fascinating to experience it with Mike, we both enjoyed so many of the same things. After not living together for going on 11 years he's become not only grown up, and extremely knowledgeable, but really worldly. I learn so much from him when we're together, it fascinates me how the tables have turned!
Friday night was super special! Months earlier I had ordered theatre tickets to WICKED which was playing at The Gershwin Theatre. It had always been my dream to take Mike to a Broadway 🎭 show, and I finally accomplished it. We went to a really fun Irish pub for dinner first, picked up our tickets, walked around Times Square, and then went back and enjoyed the show. Each of us...Jeanie, Mike, Jenny (her ticket was her 29 bday gift from Don and me) loved every moment of hit! It was and will forever be a treasured memory that I will carry in my heart!
Saturday...this was also another exciting day! Fortunately I was able to sleep in, by this time I was overly exhausted, but happier than I can begin to tell you!!! At 130pm Jeanie & I met the others (except Mike) at Kleinfeld Bridal ...YES the one and only Kleinfelds with Randy Fenoli and everyone. It was just like the show "Say Yes to the Dress" and I was thrilled for Jenny knowing how much this meant to her. The experience did not disappoint, they treated us so well and Jenny was treated like a princess. It was perfect and she did in fact say YES to the dress❣️ Thank you sweetheart for including me in such a special memory! I love you Jenny!
After Kleinfelds was my time with Mike...and it was fabulous. We walked to a small pub for appetizer s and drinks and then walked to a charming park to just talk for several hours. It was the highlight of my trip! Mike and I always try to sneak a few minutes of alone time together on each trip, visit, vacation etc. Sometimes we're successful and sometimes we aren't. This time was perfection. I'm so grateful for that time and that at 29 Mike wants to make sure we can do that. With us living so far from each other those times are just priceless.
Jeanie and I stayed in that evening and called it an early night...Mike and Jenny had a lovely last evening with Dave and Shelly as they were flying out the next afternoon.
Sunday...we all gathered at a charming French bistro for brunch (again THANK YOU very much Dave, your generosity knows no bounds!). Afterward we sadly said our goodbyes to Shelly & Dave. Jenny went back to their apartment as she was starting her new job the next day and wanted to prepare, so Mike (the greatest tour guide) took Jeanie & i to the south end of Central Park, a part ID yet to see. It was beautiful and a lovely day to explore. We came out near the Guggenheim (think Spanish Harlem) and caught the start of the Cinco de Mayo parade. Always something going on in the city!
It was getting late in the day and I was in need of rest, so it was decided that we'd head back to the hotel for R & R and Mike would come over later for the dreaded goodbyes. 😢 Saying goodbye to him each time is the hardest thing in the world for me. As everyone who knows me is aware, Mike is my pride and joy, he and Don are what keep me going, and I would do anything in the world for him ❣️ I love you ❤️ with my WHOLE heart honey!
And now I'm home. I missed Don like crazy...Jeanie was a wonderful travel companion, but two trips back to back without my husband was a bit to much. Our family is looking forward to August when we will once again be together at our beloved Leech Lake. We've rented a cabin , the Hein's have reservations and the Longs are flying in from Florida so along with all of our children so it will be a perfect memory making week!
Next week it's back to my monthly oncology visit, so as you can tell life is pretty much back to normal. Lol!
Huge thank yous to the following people that made my travel memories possible:
Don, Mike, Jenny, Mother, Daddy, Kimmy, Jeanie, Dave, Shelly and Dr. Jurgens. Each of you played a role whether large or small and I'm soooo appreciative.
God Bless each of you, continued prayers for Don, Mike and I'd like to add my amazing future daughter-in-law...Jenny. We already feel as though you're part of the family honey! Love to all. 💕💕💕
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Cancerversaries
Today is a unique day for me, I say it that way for a variety of reasons. How does one celebrate a day that revolves around being diagnosed with a life altering disease like Stage IV BC? Not just life altering for me...but for everyone that I love the most! But, shouldn't I somewhat celebrate...after all, I am still here at 5 years! My cancer has been contained to my bones, no organ progression thus far, and I still have a fairly normal life. But I've decided that on this...my 5 year Cancerversary I'd like to remember the many friends that I've lost during that time.
As many of you know, I belong to an online support group. The group is solely for Stage IV patients, their spouses, partners, etc and it's international. I joined this group one year after my rediagnosis...after I was told about it by another cancer patient (who has since passed 😢). Remarkably, I have made some amazing friends this way...similar to pen pals in past years. Horrifyingly I must tell you that I've lost........31 FRIENDS FROM THIS GROUP TO CANCER IN 4 YEARS! ADDITIONALLY, I'VE LOST TWO FRIENDS TO CANCER THAT I MET LOCALLY.
That comes to a total of 34 women,...daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, friends that have been prematurely taken due to breast cancer! Over the four years that I've been on this support group that means I've lost an average of 8.5 beautiful friends per year to breast cancer! Devastating numbers!
This my friends is why I find it difficult to celebrate my own 5 years. Perhaps it's survivors guilt, perhaps it's the fear that the years are going by too quickly or being used up. Or maybe, just maybe, I don't want to jinx anything you know? Whatever the reason I want each of you to know two thinggs:
1. I am tremendously grateful! Grateful for my faith , my family, the constant support of my loving husband Don, and my friends
2. I'm a better person because of the 34 women who are no longer with us. They were warriors, they NEVER gave up and did not lose their battle. It was simply their time to go home, their bodies could take no more. That is my belief...that is how I must believe!
The next time you hear from me I will have returned from NYC and seeing my magnificent son Mike and his fiancé Jenny! I couldn't be more excited. Thank you all for your continued support...as always I ask that you keep Don and MICHAel in your prayers.
Love, Kathy
As many of you know, I belong to an online support group. The group is solely for Stage IV patients, their spouses, partners, etc and it's international. I joined this group one year after my rediagnosis...after I was told about it by another cancer patient (who has since passed 😢). Remarkably, I have made some amazing friends this way...similar to pen pals in past years. Horrifyingly I must tell you that I've lost........31 FRIENDS FROM THIS GROUP TO CANCER IN 4 YEARS! ADDITIONALLY, I'VE LOST TWO FRIENDS TO CANCER THAT I MET LOCALLY.
That comes to a total of 34 women,...daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, friends that have been prematurely taken due to breast cancer! Over the four years that I've been on this support group that means I've lost an average of 8.5 beautiful friends per year to breast cancer! Devastating numbers!
This my friends is why I find it difficult to celebrate my own 5 years. Perhaps it's survivors guilt, perhaps it's the fear that the years are going by too quickly or being used up. Or maybe, just maybe, I don't want to jinx anything you know? Whatever the reason I want each of you to know two thinggs:
1. I am tremendously grateful! Grateful for my faith , my family, the constant support of my loving husband Don, and my friends
2. I'm a better person because of the 34 women who are no longer with us. They were warriors, they NEVER gave up and did not lose their battle. It was simply their time to go home, their bodies could take no more. That is my belief...that is how I must believe!
The next time you hear from me I will have returned from NYC and seeing my magnificent son Mike and his fiancé Jenny! I couldn't be more excited. Thank you all for your continued support...as always I ask that you keep Don and MICHAel in your prayers.
Love, Kathy
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
Well, A Lot Has Changed in 5 Years!
Hello all,
The time seems to go by so quickly doesn't it? Especially as we grow older! Add to that having a terminal illness and it seems as though life is just speeding by. All I want to do is yell...
"stop...slow down! I'd like to do that, try that see that experience that again!" But as we all know there are no do overs in life. I'd love to say that I have no regrets, but I'd be lying. Just like most people I have many. I haven't been a perfect wife, and I'm sure Don would be the first to agree! 😊 I married later in life and it took me a while to learn how to share my life with someone...even someone I love as much as Don. Thank goodness he's such a loving and patient man! Otherwise this discussion would be much different! As it is...on May 7th we will celebrate our 12th anniversary. During those 12 years we've spent all but 4 years of our wonderful marriage has had the shadow of cancer looming over it. My Don truly does understand the mean of " for better or worse ". I feel his support and strength at all times!
During the past 5 years my beloved son Michael became a man before my eyes! I've love him with every ounce of my being since the day he was born...and before! A child, whether they are young or grown, should NEVER have to watch their parent go threw a cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment. They just do not deserve it...my Michael doesn't deserve this! I can handle damn near anything ...but when I think of my son, the person I raised on my own for so long, the person I would die for it's the one time I fall apart. I don't want to miss anything in his life you see. I want to continue to share in all of his triumphs as well as to be his sounding board when he needs one. He is after all my son, my child...my own flesh and blood...and as every parent knows, we never ever want to see our children in pain. It doesn't matter how old they are.
You must know, I've NEVER been a perfect Mom. I could have been a lot more patient, more understanding, Mike says I could have been stricter (he's most likely correct) but the one thing I could never have done was love him more than I did. I hope that he will forever know that, and always did!
During the past 5 years Mike has gotten engaged to Jenny Hawkins. We love Jen, and already she's part of our family. Five years ago this month my beloved company Quality Wine & Spirits closed for good. As I began talking/interviewing with other distribution houses on April 11 I was told that my BC had metastasized and I was Stage IV. I would never work again. I've been blessed that Don and I were able to make ends meet while still living comfortably, I know many others who are not so fortunate. Please believe me, I'm not complaining when I say that I have missed my career throughout the entire 5 years.
The other big changes that come to mind...
*We lost my loving and wonderful Father in law Mick 5 months before I was diagnosed Stage IV. I've always been grateful that I got to know him so well, he was very special. I'm also grateful he didn't know that my cancer returned. It hit him so hard the first time , I would have hated to have to tell him again.
*my parents sold the family lake house on Leech Lake after 44 plus years and are now permanent residents of the sunshine state...Florida. Sadly it was time, and although we'll forever miss it, we will all have the best memories!
I could go on and on...but I'm wearing down so I'll wrap this up with an update and something happy! In January I had another PET scan (for those that weren't aware.). Once again there was progression...a new spot found on t-9 on my spinal column. Because I've had cancer there in the past, as well as radiation, they can't radiate the same spot twice without the possible chance of of a lot of skin and organ damage. So we decided that it was much safer to increase my oral chemo dosage. So far the only adverse effects I've noticed are:
1. A little increased fatigue
2. Nausea if I don't eat properly
3. My hair thinning and breaking off. But I'm using a specific product that's making my hair look MUCH thicker!
I'm beyond excited to see Mike and Jen when I spend time with them in NYC in May. My dear friend Jeanie will be joining me...her first time in the city...and it just can't get here soon enough. I need my Michael hugs!
I want to thank you for reading this VERY long post, and I'm sorry if it got boring. Your friendship, your prayers and your love are deeply appreciated. God Bless each one ofyou❣️
Love, Kathy xoxoxo
The time seems to go by so quickly doesn't it? Especially as we grow older! Add to that having a terminal illness and it seems as though life is just speeding by. All I want to do is yell...
"stop...slow down! I'd like to do that, try that see that experience that again!" But as we all know there are no do overs in life. I'd love to say that I have no regrets, but I'd be lying. Just like most people I have many. I haven't been a perfect wife, and I'm sure Don would be the first to agree! 😊 I married later in life and it took me a while to learn how to share my life with someone...even someone I love as much as Don. Thank goodness he's such a loving and patient man! Otherwise this discussion would be much different! As it is...on May 7th we will celebrate our 12th anniversary. During those 12 years we've spent all but 4 years of our wonderful marriage has had the shadow of cancer looming over it. My Don truly does understand the mean of " for better or worse ". I feel his support and strength at all times!
During the past 5 years my beloved son Michael became a man before my eyes! I've love him with every ounce of my being since the day he was born...and before! A child, whether they are young or grown, should NEVER have to watch their parent go threw a cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment. They just do not deserve it...my Michael doesn't deserve this! I can handle damn near anything ...but when I think of my son, the person I raised on my own for so long, the person I would die for it's the one time I fall apart. I don't want to miss anything in his life you see. I want to continue to share in all of his triumphs as well as to be his sounding board when he needs one. He is after all my son, my child...my own flesh and blood...and as every parent knows, we never ever want to see our children in pain. It doesn't matter how old they are.
You must know, I've NEVER been a perfect Mom. I could have been a lot more patient, more understanding, Mike says I could have been stricter (he's most likely correct) but the one thing I could never have done was love him more than I did. I hope that he will forever know that, and always did!
During the past 5 years Mike has gotten engaged to Jenny Hawkins. We love Jen, and already she's part of our family. Five years ago this month my beloved company Quality Wine & Spirits closed for good. As I began talking/interviewing with other distribution houses on April 11 I was told that my BC had metastasized and I was Stage IV. I would never work again. I've been blessed that Don and I were able to make ends meet while still living comfortably, I know many others who are not so fortunate. Please believe me, I'm not complaining when I say that I have missed my career throughout the entire 5 years.
The other big changes that come to mind...
*We lost my loving and wonderful Father in law Mick 5 months before I was diagnosed Stage IV. I've always been grateful that I got to know him so well, he was very special. I'm also grateful he didn't know that my cancer returned. It hit him so hard the first time , I would have hated to have to tell him again.
*my parents sold the family lake house on Leech Lake after 44 plus years and are now permanent residents of the sunshine state...Florida. Sadly it was time, and although we'll forever miss it, we will all have the best memories!
I could go on and on...but I'm wearing down so I'll wrap this up with an update and something happy! In January I had another PET scan (for those that weren't aware.). Once again there was progression...a new spot found on t-9 on my spinal column. Because I've had cancer there in the past, as well as radiation, they can't radiate the same spot twice without the possible chance of of a lot of skin and organ damage. So we decided that it was much safer to increase my oral chemo dosage. So far the only adverse effects I've noticed are:
1. A little increased fatigue
2. Nausea if I don't eat properly
3. My hair thinning and breaking off. But I'm using a specific product that's making my hair look MUCH thicker!
I'm beyond excited to see Mike and Jen when I spend time with them in NYC in May. My dear friend Jeanie will be joining me...her first time in the city...and it just can't get here soon enough. I need my Michael hugs!
I want to thank you for reading this VERY long post, and I'm sorry if it got boring. Your friendship, your prayers and your love are deeply appreciated. God Bless each one ofyou❣️
Love, Kathy xoxoxo
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